So tonight made the fourth night in a row that I was working...which means I haven't eaten dinner with my family or been around for bedtime for four nights in a row. I think it's taken it's toll on my little girl. She has been so clingy to me and wanting me with her all the time. Yesterday before church she followed me around saying "Mommy, come in my room and play with me." I did, of course...but when I got up to go to the restroom...she followed me THERE and asked me again to play with her. She's cried every time I leave to go to work...which makes it SO hard to leave. My heart breaks. A few nights ago after I put her to bed (before the 4 nights away) I found her outside in the hallway laying on a blanket, covered by another blanket, laying down with her fishie to go to sleep. I scooped her up and laid her in her bed.
Tonight I called home about 7:30pm to say goodnight to her. Jason had put her to bed early, so she was already asleep. BUT...she came out once to go to the potty..but Jason forgot to make sure she made it back to her bed. Well, when I called Jason walked back there and Alia wasn't in her bed! He looked around for a few seconds and found her fast asleep in OUR bed.
So...my mommy assumption is she misses me and wanted to be close to me tonight. I was gone so the closest thing was my bed. (of course...this also could just be what I WANT it to be...maybe there is no correlation)
Oh...how sad my heart is....the huge struggle of having to work goes deep within my soul.
Why, oh Lord...why. I will be where you want me to be. And I will trust you.